Dear Action Line: I was walking downtown on East Second Avenue on Feb. 7 and was surprised the sidewalk around the city-owned Carnegie Building (former library) was not shoveled. Is the city exempt from its own rules? There is a city ordinance that sidewalks must be shoveled after it snows. I have even heard of citations being issued for those who don’t shovel their walks in front of their property. – Slippin’ and a Slidin’
Dear Slippin’: So, that would be fun. The city could fine itself. How would that even work?
Let’s be honest. There was a lot of snow for a while there. A few weeks ago, Action Line was having trouble keeping up with a small driveway and a section of sidewalk that is partly Action Line’s and partly, if you want to get technical, actually the city’s responsibility. But to save the city an extra trip, Action Line clears this outlying section free of charge. Just stepped it off. About 25 yards’ worth.
No really, it’s OK. Just the Action Line family chipping in where needed. Much easier than serving on City Council, for instance, and a big thanks to those who do.
And speaking of chipping, should city workers be out there hacking away at the ice to keep these sidewalks clear? They were shoveled at one point.
Here’s section 21-36 in Article III (titled “Snow and Ice”) of the streets and sidewalks chapter of your city code of ordinances. (Yes, we’ve talked about this before: Everyone swearing allegiance to Durango must memorize the code before taking the oath of citizenship. So you all know it, but it’s worth repeating.)
“It shall be the duty of the owner, tenant and occupant of any premises abutting or adjoining any public sidewalk to remove all snow and ice from such sidewalk.”
It does say ice. But maybe the intent and on-the-ground reality of this section is up to interpretation. We probably don’t want city workers spending all of their time chipping ice. The city’s street division maintains 83 miles of roadway, give or take a quarter-mile or two. Joey Medina, the city’s solid waste division manager who is also serving as interim street division manager, replied:
“As you know everything has been a challenge this year to make sure sidewalk areas are clean and free of snow and ice. With the type of snow we received this year, not all areas are going to be perfect and 100 percent clean due to the continuous freeze-and-thaw conditions we are experiencing right now.”
Wade Moore, city parking manager, chipped in:
“The sidewalk was shoveled and in this case care is given by Parks and Rec as well as the facilities guys. … Plus, snow next to the sidewalk has melted and there is substantial ice now. I believe it has had several ice melt treatments, but the north side (of Carnegie) is particularly troublesome.
“You will see a similar situation along Buckley Park and other city facilities.”
Yeah, well, not to brag, but the city’s section along Action Line’s street is spotless.
Dear Action Line: Wow, Snowdown was crazy good this year. However, my only Snowdown LetDown was that there was no Snowdown Sneer! What is the deal with the Sneer, and when will it return? – Sneerless Snowdowns Stink
Dear Sneerless: To get the answer to this question, Action Line went deep underground. Down into the dark recesses of the city, where ghouls and goblins and those three weird witches in “Macbeth” hang out.
Turns out that was not where to find the Sneer editor, but fortunately, one of the witches had some sort of connection. This interview was done via undivulged means using an encrypted channel with the interviewee in an undisclosed location.
For a bit of background: The Sneer poked fun at all sorts of local issues – real estate values, pink houses, all the latest controversies, the weather, and life in general. Call it The Onion of La Plata County. It was printed for nearly 30 years without a break.
The Sneer was last delivered in 2020 to the dedicated Snowdown riffraff – also known as Sneer-suckers. Then the pandemic hit. Sorry to say, the final bell may have tolled for the Sneer. Here’s why:
“The logistical problems were insurmountable*,” Action Line was informed. (* In other words, the Sneer editor said, it became a pain in the asterisk.)
“First, most Sneer advertisers were local bars and restaurants. They not only struggle to hire staff and keep open, they hardly have discretionary funds to throw at some second-string, third-rate member of the fourth estate.
“Second, with the closing of Basin Printing, there's no longer any way to convert the Sneer, which is created on grossly outdated PC software, into a commercial-grade PDF required for a newspaper web press.
“Which brings us to the third obstacle: the fact that local newspaper printing now takes place in Santa Fe, a 425-mile round trip. A weary ink-stained wretch would have to solve all three problems first before writing one single snarky word about Durango’s stupid wokeness. It’s just too much.”
Is some other brave and fiendishly creative soul out there who would invest the dozens, nay, hundreds of hours of double, double toil and trouble it takes to put out the tawdry annual rag?
We can only hope.
Email questions and suggestions to actionline@durangoherald.com or mail them to Action Line, The Durango Herald, 1275 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301. Is Action Line the only one who got inspired lately to read Shakespeare?
