How about a list of things to do in Durango if you’re a marijuana tourist? Someone needs to address this important issue. I certainly don’t want them driving. No name for me, please. Might be a fun list. – Anonymous, Sent from my iPad
Durango takes great pride in attracting a veritable trail mix of visitors.
On any given day, you’ll encounter cyclists, skiers, bluegrass fans, film buffs, wine enthusiasts, hot-rod collectors, Harley riders, nature lovers and train fanatics.
And now, potheads.
So, what’s a stoner going to do in a town that’s 62 miles southeast of Stoner?
Quite a lot actually. All we have to do is hash out a few details, so to speak.
Motivation will be one of the main problems. After partaking of local retail wellness, toker tourists will probably just want to head back to the hotel to watch TV and eat a bag of chips.
Therefore, it is imperative we cater to the special needs and interests of this newly legal category of traveler.
For example, zipline operators could install special ropes made of 100 percent organic hemp. This would really appeal to adrenaline junkies.
Or maybe we should say “enthusiasts” instead of “junkies.” You know how marijuana users resent that term.
Anyway, the real issue is pot discrimination. In order to purchase retail marijuana, you must show a driver’s license to prove you’re older than 21. Colorado residents can buy an ounce, but out-of-staters can score only a quarter of that.
And, if visitors want to light up in their hotel room, they have to be in a smoking room. Seriously. That’s part of the Colorado Clean Indoor Air Act.
We need to build a special ventilated smoking lounge for marijuana tourists. But where?
The new downtown Durango Welcome Center, of course!
The Welcome Center is a joint project of the Business Improvement District, the Chamber of Commerce and Fort Lewis College. So, let’s make it a real joint project.
Instead of the Victorian Aid Society sauntering downtown in their top hats, waistcoats, bustles and petticoats, there could be another costumed group going hither and yon.
Let’s call them the Merry Wanders. Dressed in tie-dye, sandals, baggy frocks and dirty jeans, members of the Merry Wanders could create quite the buzz.
The only trouble is tie-dye, sandals, baggy frocks and dirty jeans describes easily half of the locals. So, scratch that idea.
A marijuana tourist is just the kind of visitor Durango needs. One of pot’s well-know effects is the distortion of time. So, fully baked train riders won’t notice (or care) how long it takes for a round trip to and from Silverton.
Another effect of pot smoking is short-term memory loss. We can use this to our advantage.
As you point out, curious herbalists shouldn’t drive. And we can keep them off the road by putting them on the road – in the trolley.
The highly high tourist will spend the day doing laps around town, with each frequent stop being a totally new adventure.
For our many excellent local restaurants, what better news could there be than perpetually hungry tourists are coming to town?
Make sure you tell marijuana tourists your establishment features “grass-fed beef.”
And finally, we should have some sort of fundraiser. Durango has never turned down the opportunity for a fundraiser.
Start planning for an event called TLC for THC. Let’s hold it on the 20th of April. That’s 4/20, of course.
Email questions to actionline@durangoherald.com or mail them to Action Line, The Durango Herald, 1275 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301. You can request anonymity if you wonder if they’ll refer to marijuana tourists as ‘pot hunters.’
