’Twas four days ’fore Christmas and all through our towns,
Events of the past year brought smirks and some frowns.
We’ll look at what happened for better or worse;
It’s time once again for the Action Line verse.
Two thousand and fifteen was quite the fandango
For folks in the county and those in Durango.
But who could foresee that in fear we would quiver
When toxins befouled the Animas River?
When what to our wondering eyes did appear?
A sludge glowing orange; we all shed a tear.
The EPA workers in white haz-mat suits
Would prove to some nutjobs that they’re in cahoots.
Response not so rapid, excuses were lame;
Pollutants were flowing, they called them by name:
“Now, arsenic! Now, nickel! Now, zinc and some lead!”
(No wonder Cement Creek is utterly dead).
“On, barium! Manganese, iron and cadmium!
On, nickel! On, silver and lots of beryllium!”
The 3 million gallons of heaviest metal
The river’s condition was not in fine fettle.
Yet Silverton rallied with all of its might
Against designation of Superfund site.
Some crusty old timers mistakenly yearn
For halcyon days and for mining’s return.
And what’s more obnoxious than underage keggers?
The sudden arrival of panhandling beggars.
So town’s overrun by some folks on the fringe;
Their cardboard announcements we cannot impinge.
Admonish the tourists and tell ev’ry yokel:
Refocus your giving to charities local.
One, maybe two of them down on their luck
But nothing will change if you give them a buck.
And then there are campers who set up their lairs
Illegal and filthy and swarming with bears.
Solutions elusive for those with no voice
But some of the homeless are homeless by choice.
Cowardly vandals defacing the Arc;
Won’t someone come forward and be a good narc?
Despite the objections to public artwork,
It doesn’t permit one to act like a jerk.
You might not have heard this if you are a stoner;
The place to go skiing has got a new owner.
A new lift is merely a tip of the ‘burg;
So thanks to Jim Coleman for bringing back “Purg.”
With matters regarding our kids’ education,
The rumors are flying, there’s much speculation.
Why can’t the bus drivers stay on the road?
Why must the district be in crisis mode?
Why the approval for Juniper School?
(Assuming full funding is really uncool.)
It’s not like the big bucks are certain per deim
(Just ask at the Powerhouse Science Museum.)
One thing’s for certain, the kids outperform,
And prove that mere average is never the norm.
There’s Bayfield football and DHS runners.
They’re champs of the state with some wins that were stunners.
With median housing at four-forty K,
If you want to live here through the nose you must pay.
Is real estate “real?” In thought we must pause;
Yes, real like Bigfoot and ol’ Santa Claus!
It’s job number 1 and it’s job number two
To build a new plant to treat stuff from the loo.
The options weren’t many, the choices were stark;
The site isn’t changing from Whitewater Park
Despite all our problems at this timely junction;
We’re one great big family albeit dysfunction.
So here’s to the new year, another edition
With life most abundant and lacking perdition.
May your days be merry and shiny and bright,
The woes you encounter be petty and slight.
To you, we extend the most warmest of wishes,
From yours truly here and from Action Line Mrs.
Email questions to actionline@durangoherald.com or mail them to Action Line, The Durango Herald, 1275 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301. You can request anonymity if you know who’s naughty and who’s nice.
