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Witty sign unwittingly predicts the future

Who could have predicted that this now-gone sign would be even more prescient about the “unforeseen circumstances” we face today?

When I saw this marquee at the fairgrounds, the irony of psychics having “unforeseen circumstances” struck me as pretty darn funny. Then, almost immediately, I wondered what Action Line’s take on this would be. Hopefully, it will at least bring a quick smile! – Phil Bryson

How did you know Action Line would love this?

You must be … (wait for it) …

A mind reader!

In any case, this sign at the La Plata County Fairgrounds was put up a couple weeks ago when everything was mostly normal.

Since then, the world has been turned on its head. Gatherings were discouraged and then outright prohibited.

In the midst of it all, the sign came down.

“Right now, the fairgrounds are closed until the end of March,” said Emily Spencer, office and events manager for the facility.

“In the next few days, we’ll announce if the closure is extended,” she said, adding that several April events have already self-canceled or been postponed.

So the ironic sign about psychics is even more prescient.

What that sign couldn’t have predicted was the ultimate in “unforeseen circumstances” coming our way.

And there’s another irony here.

In times that we’re ordered to isolate, we come together. In separation, we find unity.

Maybe that’s more of a paradox.

By “paradox,” we don’t mean two boat loading areas.

That would be a pun without pier! Want some moor?

Please join in a bit of laughter. It’s the best medicine. Especially now.

Action Line has a premonition of some bad psychic jokes appearing soon!

Who couldn’t see that coming?

Action Line consulted with three top psychics: Claire Voyant, Crystal Ball and Telly Pathic.

Who wouldn’t want soothsayers to, say, soothe your frayed nerves?

We need to take the frayed out of afraid these days.

Ahem.

Did you hear about the tiny fortuneteller who broke out of jail? It was a case of a small medium at large.A guy was thinking about dating a psychic, but she dumped him before they met.A young lady goes to see a fortuneteller, who informs her, “Two men are madly in love with you.” Susan asks excitedly, “Who will be the lucky one?” The fortuneteller replies, “Mathew will marry you, and Jake will be the lucky one.” Two mystics were walking along the Animas River Trail, admiring the beautiful weather. “What a nice day,” said one mystic. “It reminds me of the spring of 2054.”A telepath met a colleague at the coffee shop. She walked in the door, sat down at the table and said, “You are fine. How am I?”Here’s a timely observation for psychic linguists: The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.And last but certainly least, here’s one for local Realtors:A couple of oracles were thinking about moving to Durango. But once they got into town, they realized they’d never fit in. It’s because Durango has so many non-prophet organizations.

Email questions to actionline@durangoherald.com or mail them to Action Line, The Durango Herald, 1275 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301. You can request anonymity if you don’t become a palm reader because you can’t see a future in it.

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