Welcome to your new house and place of employment, the White House.
Yes, this job does provide housing. This is a house you cannot buy or sell. Your lease is for four years, at which time you can be evicted for failure to follow the rules.
Your landlords are the American People. And the American People are also your bosses. Let me remind you who they are: women, men and children who live in America.
Your job tasks are as follows:
First task: You are our president but you have yet to show us that you are our leader. This task might be too big for you, but at least look like you are trying.Next task: We are a divided nation and now your task is to unite us. We are all part of this division and your rhetoric reinforced it. So I would get started quickly on this one.A big task is being able to access a big red button in case of emergency. And since you have become president, this has become more important. Other countries already have their big red buttons pushed halfway down because of a few statements you have made. So you will need to address that.Speaking of a big red button, Mother Nature has one too, and she is going to push hers all the way down if we keep abusing her, so add that to your list.Another task is to make it to the four-year mark without getting fired. Approximately 2.9 million people are waiting to say, “Mr. Trump, you are fired!”As a reminder, April 15 is coming up. We are always available to answer any questions about paying taxes. We do it every year.Oh, one more task: I can’t believe this is last, but there is a thing called the U.S. Constitution, and you need follow it. Welcome to the team, and don’t hang out by the copier tweeting too much. Your bosses are watching.
Sincerely,
American People Human Resources Department
Marie Jarvis-Rolfing
Durango
