People who care for ailing or frail family members or neighbors with little respite can reach a point of exhaustion and need help themselves.

Ready to lift a little of the load in La Plata County are assisted-living or adult day-care facilities, personal-care and medical providers who make home visits, and periodical support-group get-togethers, said Sheila Casey, director of the Durango/La Plata Senior Center.

Keeping the elderly under the eye of family, friends or paid employees is so widespread that November has been designated National Home Health Care Month to recognize caregivers.

“Sixty percent of county residents are involved in care-giving roles for someone here or in another state,” Casey said. “I’m sure there are many we don’t know about.”

The senior center sponsors three meetings each month for caregivers. The support-group meetings are facilitated by Elaine Stumpo, director of the La Plata County Alzheimer’s Association.

A topic of conversation can be anything participants choose, Stumpo said. Freewheeling discussions allow caregivers a moment to unwind, exchange ideas and discuss what works and what doesn’t work.

“I never have fewer than 10 participants, and I’ve had more than 25,” Stumpo said. “We’re non-judgmental, and participants can count on confidentiality.”

Stumpo also holds one meeting a month for patients, many of them with Alzheimer’s.

Caregivers carry a burden, Stumpo said.

“I’ve seen caregivers die before the person they’re caring for,” Stumpo said. “They may feel they’re not doing the job, and they get no support.”

As people live longer and medical advances allow them to remain at home, the need for in-home care grows, adding to the demands on caregivers, Casey said.

The WebMD website defines caregiver burnout as physical, mental and emotional exhaustion that can change a positive attitude to one of negativism and unconcern.

“The more support we can give caregivers, the less their burnout,” said Erin Youngblood, a social worker at Guardian Angel Home Health.

“The caregiver meetings provide a feeling of camaraderie, which is great because a lot of them don’t have help,” Youngblood said.

Guardian Angel, with offices in Durango, Cortez and Monticello, Utah, provides skilled nursing care and nonskilled aides who cook, clean, wash clothes and help with personal grooming.

La Plata County is short-changed on assisted-living facilities, Casey said. There is only one – in contrast to seven in Cortez where rent is economical, she said.

The senior center receives money from the Older Americans Act, United Way of Southwest Colorado, La Plata County and the city of Durango.

The income pays for meals and transportation for caregivers and patients attending the Monday through Friday noon meal at the center, Meals on Wheels delivery for homebound patients and transportation for such needs as doctors visits.The senior center holds annual caregiver conferences/resource fairs in February.

This year’s was sponsored by the senior center, Mercy Regional Medical Center and the Denver University School of Social Work.

daler@durangoherald.com

Support group provides relief

The support-group meetings for caregivers at the Durango/La Plata Senior Center are absolutely essential to their own well-being, participants say.

“They’re critical to all of us,” said Paul Mares. “They’re invaluable, they’re a lifesaver.”

Mares, a retired college bookstore manager, dropped everything three years ago to care for his 77-year-old wife, who suffers from dementia. Day care didn’t work out, he said.

She is now in an assisted-living facility.

The caregiver support-group meetings are facilitated by Elaine Stumpo, director of the La Plata County Alzheimer’s Association.

“We share notes and stories, even find humor in the situations we deal with, so no one feels alone,” Mares said. “Newcomers are desperate and fearful – you can see it in their face. But after a few months they’ve gained confidence. They’re a new person.”

Kathy Schuetz agrees.

Full-time caregiving is demanding in time and energy, Schuetz said.

“It’s not what we planned for when we said ‘for better or worse,’” she said.

She has put her personal life on hold for more than five years to care for her 71-year-old husband, who has Alzheimer’s.

“You accommodate your schedule to the needs of your patient,” said Schuetz, who leaves her husband at day care when she goes to caregiver meetings.

She had a live-in helper for 3½ months, but the arrangement proved unsatisfactory, Schuetz said.

“In the caregiver meetings, you give something to the others and you receive from them in turn.”

daler@durangoherald.com