Dear Abby - The Durango Herald

Man struggles after friend’s death

DEAR ABBY: I’m a gay man. A friend of more than 20 years, “Marci,” passed away eight months ago after battling cancer for four years. Just a month after the funeral, her wife, “Julia,” start...

DATE: Jun 9, 2022 | CATEGORY: Dear Abby

Daughter feels powerless to help dad

DEAR ABBY: My dad, who is nearing 80, has been married to my stepmom, “Ruth,” for nearly 35 years. She has always been temperamental and controlling to a degree, but during the last few year...

DATE: Jun 7, 2022 | CATEGORY: Dear Abby

First wife unsure about polygamy

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are in our 40s. Last year, we decided to make a very big change in our lives. We decided to seek out a second wife (sister wife) for my husband. I was completely ...

DATE: Jun 7, 2022 | CATEGORY: Dear Abby

Woman eats roommate’s food

DEAR ABBY: A couple of months ago, I moved from my mother’s into an apartment with a friend I had rekindled a high school friendship with a few years back. The first month in, I noticed she ...

DATE: Jun 2, 2022 | CATEGORY: Dear Abby

Retired man smitten with neighbor

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are retired. A short while ago, a young couple moved in across the street. A few months later, my husband, who does yardwork for neighbors for extra money, starte...

DATE: May 31, 2022 | CATEGORY: Dear Abby

Woman always revisits past decisions

DEAR ABBY: I’m a divorced woman, soon to be 60, who is often haunted by vivid memories of the past. I constantly recall times in my life that I regret or cringe about, and things I wish I wo...

DATE: May 28, 2022 | CATEGORY: Dear Abby

Sneaky boyfriend sabotages friendship

DEAR ABBY: I have a gay friend I’ll call “Allen.” We have been close friends for 13 years. Allen has visited me often with his friends from England, and two years ago, when I could finally a...

DATE: May 28, 2022 | CATEGORY: Dear Abby

Fiance sees bachelorette party 'souvenirs’

DEAR ABBY: I’m about to get married to a wonderful woman. We have been together for 16 years and have two precious kids. Recently, we were treated to bachelor and bachelorette parties, a wee...

DATE: May 24, 2022 | CATEGORY: Dear Abby

College student tries to reason with mom

DEAR ABBY: I am a freshman at a Midwestern university, and I love it. I finished my first semester with straight A’s, and my second semester has been strong. I have a great group of friends ...

DATE: May 20, 2022 | CATEGORY: Dear Abby

Sister’s greed is last straw

DEAR ABBY: My father died five years ago at 90. For the last 20 years of his life, both my sisters shunned him because they disliked his second wife (who predeceased him). She had never been...

DATE: May 19, 2022 | CATEGORY: Dear Abby

Dessert tastes best shared

DEAR ABBY: I lost your cookbooklet collection! My family and I have really enjoyed some of those recipes. I have loved all the ones I have tried, but my favorites are the desserts. Particula...

DATE: May 17, 2022 | CATEGORY: Dear Abby

Dad gets zoomies before bedtime

DEAR ABBY: My husband gets very upset when our 4-year-old sons don’t share his enthusiasm about something that excites him. He wants them (and me) to jump up and down or cheer when he’s exci...

DATE: May 13, 2022 | CATEGORY: Dear Abby

Photos: Snowdown Light Parade 2026

Snowdown Light Parade offers a journey back in timeDinosaurs, prospectors and chain saws, oh my!

Main Avenue was transformed Friday into a menagerie of whimsy during this year’s Snowdown Light Parade.Dinosaurs, prospectors, yards of flannel, covered wagons, a yeti, humanoid trees, a healthy dose of Victorian garb, Jazzercise cowboys, chain saws, bubbles, bears, horses, rams, chickens and motorcycles all helped paradegoers get into a party mood and go back in time for this year’s Snowdown theme: Uniquely Colorado – Then and Wow!The parade, hosted once again by Purgatory Resort, gave participants the opportunity to time travel to celebrate Colorado’s 150th anniversary and all that makes the state special.Some floats leaned heavily into the theme of celebrating Colorado’s history and quirks – one with an intricately decorated Victorian room, another featuring a mega-sized miner working a steaming rock pile, and one sporting the infamous Denver International Airport mustang, Blucifer, among others.

Others – like a mobile boxing ring and pickleball court, a drivable airport luggage cart filled with suitcases and a vintage Barbie car – gained attention through their eye-catching presentations and quirky energy.Though many themed floats leaned into 19th and 20th century Durango and Colorado history, some – including the La Plata Electric Association float – brought paradegoers back millions of years to the age of the dinosaurs.Purgatory has hosted the light parade for more than eight years, said company spokesperson James Graven.Purgatory Marketing Director Matt Ericksen told The Durango Herald that hosting Snowdown is a way for the company to show its support for the festival and the community.“Hosting the Snowdown parade is a way for us to support a long-standing Durango tradition and the community that has supported Purgatory for so many years,” Ericksen said. “Especially as we mark our 60th season, it feels important to stay connected to the events that make this place special.”

Durango resident Emma Tomlinson has attended the parade for more than 30 years. Her 4-year-old son, Axel, has been coming to the parade since he was born.“People just love it – it’s a tradition,” Tomlinson said. “I think during the winter, we’re all at our low, you know? It’s a great pick-me-up. You get out and you see your friends and you invite your family, and people are just happy. It’s a great time to just celebrate and be with each other.”

Axel said his favorite part of the parade was the fire-breathing propane tanks released from hot air balloon baskets ferried on trucks.The parade concluded with a drone show depicting images from Colorado’s history – a new addition this year – and an impromptu appearance from anti-ICE protesters.

The protesters, a smaller cohort than one that filled Main Avenue only hours earlier, filed into the parade route just as the procession was coming to a close with homemade signs in tow, chanting, “stop deportation.” epond@durangoherald.com

Dinosaurs, prospectors and chain saws, oh my!

Durango High School students trade class for anti-ICE protest‘Skipping our lessons to teach you one,’ read one sign

About 200 Durango High School students and a smattering of supportive community members marched down Main Avenue on Friday during school hours to protest recent U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement activity. Students intentionally missed two class periods to join the crowd, which made its way through DHS property, south to downtown Durango and back again. A handful of class absences can lead to disciplinary action – but many of the students marching on Main said they were more than willing to take an attendance strike to be at the protest.

“It’s our friends out there (being taken),” 11th grader Lila Scherer-Sickler said as she marched alongside her classmates. “It’s people we know in Durango, and we just felt like, as kids, we don’t often get an opportunity to have our voice out there, and we just took the chance. A bunch of us are missing AP classes right now, (but) I think that the opportunity to get your voice out there is more important.”

The crowd of high schoolers touted handmade signs and called out chants like, “We want justice, we want peace, we want ICE up off our streets.” Many passing cars and passersby honked, smiled and waved at the crowd. Some put up their middle fingers or shook their heads. One student said a classmate intentionally blew exhaust at protesters from his car as the crowd was leaving the school. Durango School District spokeswoman Karla Sluis told The Durango Herald in a written statement that the school was aware of the protest and “coordinated communication with local law enforcement and nearby facilities” before the march.

“We acknowledge students’ First Amendment right to express their views,” she wrote. “At the same time, we are responsible for students’ safety and education. Usual attendance policies apply, and we encourage respectful dialogue through planned, supervised events.” The protest comes after several months of rising tensions between ICE and U.S. citizens, in Durango and nationwide. A father and his two children were detained by ICE in October in Durango, despite having an open asylum case, and a man who had lived in Durango for 22 years was arrested in the city on New Year’s Eve. According to reporting by The Guardian, at least eight people have died in dealings with ICE less than a month into the new year – including Minneapolis residents Renee Nicole Good and Alex Pretti, who were shot and killed by ICE agents weeks apart.

Other people killed in interactions with ICE this year include Luis Gustavo Núñez Cáceres, Keith Porter Jr, Geraldo Lunas Campos, Víctor Manuel Díaz, Parady La and Luis Beltrán Yáñez-Cruz, according to The Guardian. Eleventh grader Finn Hughes said he participated in the walkout because using his privilege as a white U.S. citizen is important. “These are abhorrent kidnappings, and they’re happening not just in Durango, but around the nation,” he said.

Durango resident Barb Day was one of the community members who joined the protest in support of the students. She brought along a repurposed sign she used in 1968 to protest against the Vietnam War. “We have this brutal masked secret police that are just breaking all of our constitutional rights, and people are dying,” she said. “My parents were in World War II – my dad was in the Navy, and my mom was a combat nurse – and I know what my parents fought for. And this is just so wrong. We’re losing decency.” Liza Tregillus of the Apoyo Immigrant Partner Team also joined the protest in support of the students who marched. “I’m very proud of them, and I think (they’re out here) because they’re losing their own friends, and their own friends are terrified,” she said. “I feel we’ve lost our democracy after 250 years, (and) we need young voters.”

Tregillus has worked closely with many immigrants in her line of work, including the father and two children – Fernando Jaramillo-Solano and his 12-year-old daughter and 15-year-old son – who were detained by ICE in Durango late last year. The family opted to self-deport back to Colombia after a month in the South Texas Family Residential Center in Dilley, Texas, but told the Herald in January through Tregillus that they feared for their safety back in Colombia. One student, ninth grader Owen Holland, said he had a connection to the Jaramillo-Solano family. “I have a friend who lived here, from Mexico, and he was friends with them,” he said. “And it was like, really bad for my friend. It was really bad. It’s so much different than people make it seem.”

Tregillus said the tone of a protest is important, and that leading with curiosity and solution-based efforts – rather than confrontation – can make a difference. She said chants and signs that put the focus on immigrants being neighbors and friends, versus those that are meant to demean ICE or its agents, is one way she feels protesters can use their voices with intention. Many of the immigrants she works with are fearful that protests with tones that attack ICE agents may make conditions worse for them, she said. “From the immigrants, they would appreciate that our protests not be negative,” she said. “Many of them come from cultures of respect toward authority, and they’re frightened. ... They would rather we stick to a different tone. I talked to an immigrant (who had been detained by ICE), and he said every time there were protests outside when they were in lockdown, they were punished.” ICE did not immediately respond to a request for comment Friday. Students returned to their classes after the protest, and the demonstration remained peaceful, with no pepper spray or rubber bullets deployed, nor any heavy police or ICE presence in sight – unlike some other recent protests in Durango. epond@durangoherald.com

‘Skipping our lessons to teach you one,’ read one sign

150-200 demonstrators made their way from DHS to Buckley Park

Colorado history gets weird, wild, wacky at Fashion Do’s and Don’tsAnnual Snowdown event has become so popular, auditions are now required

Cowboys. Fancy ladies. Gold miners. Even-toed ungulates that some in Durango might consider more like rats.Where can you find a runway show that takes you on a whirlwind tour through the weird, wacky and wildly exaggerated 150 years of Colorado history? Only at Durango’s annual Fashion Do’s and Don’ts, held Wednesday, where models and audience members wore costumes celebrating Colorado’s sesquicentennial – the theme of this year’s two-week Snowdown celebration.Standout acts included the Ghosts of Durango, which featured four of Durango’s most famous ghosts: a Rochester hotel ghost in a Victorian get-up of a more “modern” variation; the Strater Hotel’s head of housekeeping, also head of more discreet services; a young girl haunting El Rancho’s bathroom; and Sheriff Bob Thompson, killed in a 1906 gunfight. according to emcee Suzan Lane. A Another act was the Secret Circus Society, featuring Rubi Starr, Jeni Gross, Tabatha Joy Bettin, Adrienne Young and Ethan Deffenbaugh dressed as a car and the roadside pests better known as deer. Group members said the inspiration for the costume came from lived experiences driving Durango roads. The two-person Cantine Couture act starred Leslie Ponce and Tyler Frakes in an homage to the plentiful variety of Mexican restaurants found in any Colorado town. Ponce, dressed in comically large Mexican pointy cowboy boots, ambled down the runway as if taking a stroll under the hot, dusty, high-altitude sun, while Frakes flitted about the stage in a bright yellow salsa dress. Ponce said this year’s costume had been tough to decide, but the final decision was inspired by TikTok videos of Mexican cowboys in pointy boots. This was the duo’s third year strutting down the runway. Why they keep coming back for more, Frakes said laughing, was, “for the fame, the glory and the attention.”

Fashion Do’s and Don’ts has been one of the most highly anticipated Snowdown events since its inception in the 1990s. It has more than doubled in size over the past several decades. Last year, there were a record number of models, and in order to keep the event at a manageable size, this year’s fashion show was the first one to require the acts to audition. But many of the models were unfazed by the change. “It was actually easy,” said Jodi Zuber, one part of the two-person duo that made up the 1950s Texas Invader Ski Couple. Her partner-in-costume, Danny Jaques, said they had been doing this for several years, and it’s good with everything going on in the world to “get some levity and let your hair down.” The performers were not the only ones in costume. Audience members also dressed in a wide variety of unique takes on what makes Colorado, Colorado. JonBenet Ramsey made a miraculous appearance, being played by an 82-year-old woman, as did Casa Bonita, an ensemble that included a taco, sopaipilla and gorilla in chains – to name some of the characters. By the end of the show, people were in high spirits, as usual. “It was just delightful,” said a first-time audience member. If blessed with the chance to get the much coveted tickets – he said he would jump on it. jbowman@durangoherald.com